It's funny how the human brain works. I am often surprised at how many of my opinions are based completely on comparison.
Eating, for example. I'm typically not super grateful for the fact that I get hungry before meals. In fact, it's usually pretty annoying. But the day after I get over the stomach flu?! Man, that hunger is the best feeling in the world! I feel like I'd never appreciate it if it weren't for those nasty days I'd spent nursing my stomach.
It makes me wonder if maybe the horrible days come so we can love the ordinary ones.
The day after we got home from Washington I was suddenly so much pain we rushed to the ER. I'm talking curl-up-in-a-ball-vomit-from-pain-honestly-wish-I'd-just-die-already-so-it-would-stop kind of hurting. And if you think they fixed me up right then and there, you're wrong. Because it lasted almost 2 entire weeks. I used to hear about stuff like this happening and in the back of my mind I figured there had to be something that made it bearable That the human body would adapt or something so that the person could deal with the pain. Nope. It was just horrible. Every single second of those two weeks was completely horrible.
After lots of Doc appointments, thousands of dollars worth of tests (hooray for good medical insurance!) and even a surgery appointment (that we luckily got to cancel) it ended up being cured by a couple good rounds of antibiotics.
And now all I can think is, I LOVE ANTIBIOTICS!!!! In fact, I've spent the last few days loving everything about my life. I can do the dishes?! GREAT!! Homework? Fantastic! Remember that chronic illness I have that keeps me in bed 70% of the day? NO PROBLEM!
The fact is, life is pretty incredible simply because it's not horrible!
I guess, in the end, I'm kind of glad for those two weeks. They helped me remember that Ordinary Life is a pretty good place to be.
3 comments:
Jessica, I'm hurt that you've been suffering so. How could a hospital send you away in nearly suicidal pain? (Or did you stay there for 2 weeks?) I wish you didn't need to go through such a horrible time. I do understand about the comparison. Even though we've led quite different lives, there are a few things on which we can truly understand and agree - we don't appreciate the "normal" until we suffer through change. I love how my head feels, how my energy suddenly rebounds, how pretty much everything is suddenly amazing after I find relief from a headache or other severe pain. Thanks for sharing your life with me. The little, simple life is quite simply, amazing.
Hooray for modern medicine (when it works)! Every day I'm at work I remember that my life could be so different and so much worse. (Which means I totally complain about it all the time anyway.). I'm glad you're feeling better!
Hello Jess - Happy to find your blog here, but so sorry to hear of your hard times. I've experienced the rebound you talk of after a bad migraine, but I've never had 2 weeks of that level of pain.... Look after yourself, and here's hoping the Docs get to the bottom of what caused it? Must have been some nasty infection if the antibiotics worked... but rotten at the time. Take care.... Sally B
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